President Donald Trump Hospitalized After Overdosing on Victory Speeches

Sources inside Trump Tower say former President Donald J. Trump spent the entire night rehearsing his upcoming 2025 “I Told You So” tour, reportedly delivering more than 300 speeches to himself in the mirror.

Doctors say Trump collapsed from “extreme over-confidence combined with dehydration caused by too much talking and not enough water.”

A witness claims Trump’s final words before fainting were:

“Nobody passes out better than me, believe me.”